It’s date night. Or date morning, as is mostly the case for me. Time to set aside the world and its worries. Time to sit down and savor someone delicious, someone I love. We don’t get to spend enough time together. The kind of time that meanders without agenda or goals or any kind of ideas of improvement; a straight-up hang out session. Sometimes I show up eager and open, other times I’m stressed or scattered with tons on my mind. Sometimes I’m just tired.
But no matter. I can arrive in any state; regardless how I come, I always leave feeling better, happier, more in love.
Our relationship is complicated. I can be mean, demanding, unsatisfied, and bossy. I’m not always a great listener. This quality time together is meant specifically to soothe and heal all of that. Away from distractions and responsibilities, it’s a time to move out of the (often negative speaking) head and into the joy of the heart.
So I do it everyday. I sit down and practice welcoming myself however I appear. I soften judgement, criticism and all those imperatives to be better or different than right now.
Related: Talking and Listening
To meditate is to practice the art of accepting, embracing (oneself and the reality around us) and ultimately, of falling in love. Sitting is so simple when it comes from this place. Listening to the breath the way I would lay in bed beside my beloved; listening, just that. Maybe a little adoring. Whatever else arises: thoughts, emotions, sensations—they come in the bed too. There’s nothing to hide here, completely naked and utterly safe, everything is allowed.
Couples are urged to create dates night on the regular to keep their love alive. Quality time together is the essential ingredient to becoming enamored. It nourishes us like food so we need to feed on it constantly. Showing up in this way, again and again and as often as possible, inflames the passions of our hearts and the basic pleasure of being alive. Meditating daily is like falling in love; with yourself.
Photo by Chloe Crespi