How Struggles with Serious Illnesses Made Me Healthier and Happier

While battling cancer, going through menopause at 25 years old, later facing life in a wheelchair, as well as going through a divorce, I continued to receive answers from medical and psychological professionals that simply didn’t feel right. After a lot of soul searching, I made a decision to be proactive in my health and listen to my inner “knowing”—my intuition.

Having cancer was a learning process for me. I learned a lot about my personal limitations but maybe most important, I learned there was plenty I thought I knew about my overall health that I was completely clueless about. I always believed I was healthy, and in fact the adjective “healthy” was one I would use often to describe myself. I would go to a health food store before a candy store any day. I truly loved frozen yogurt; I knew kidney beans were high in antioxidants; and washing off pesticides from your food was a must. I wasn’t necessarily wrong or being inauthentic when using this term prior to my diagnosis, I simply wasn’t aware of everything “health” encompassed.

Before I began my chemo treatments, I had a plan. I would exercise as much as possible, take my vitamins and supplements, and I had a nutritionist on call. This is what healthy people do and it was a plan I was going to stick to. All of that went out the door after I received my first round of chemo. My protocol AVBD chemotherapy was in charge—not Kim. I got sick very quickly in so many violating ways, that I was in shock of how much my body was not in my control. Throughout my treatments, I was simply in survival mode and wanted to try anything that would help, but I began to understand that the power you have is really before and after treatment. If I knew then what I know now, I would have paid more attention to the stressors in my life and wouldn’t have underestimated how emotions can physically manifest in the body. I realize now that my relationships, career, and joy in life are central to my health. Steaming broccoli and eating blueberries are helpful but will never outweigh the importance of emotional happiness.

When I was going through my divorce about two years ago, I began seeing a counselor. I explained to her many things about my past and general history: how I was highly sensitive to crowds, people, and TV and they often made me feel exhausted. I had explained this to doctors and counselors throughout my life but they never said much or tried to address the issues. However, this counselor immediately said, “Oh, you are clearly an empath!” I had never heard of that word before and went home to research it. My life and the way I viewed myself completely changed when I read about being an empath. Every website I looked at seemed like it was written about me specifically. I felt understood; I felt like I could accept myself as is. Knowing this validated that I had permission to take care of myself in ways that might look different from others around me. My discovery and learning to make sense of myself in this new way lead to the ultimately healing of my mind, body, and spirit.

Since completion of chemo, being cleared of cancer, and getting a grip on the other health challenges I faced, I’ve rarely gone to Western medicine doctors beyond my regular oncology check-ups. Not because I don’t believe in them but because I’m proactive with my health and I know how to keep my immune system strong. I don’t wait for signs that I may be getting sick. Prior to getting cancer, almost every time I flew, I got sick. I travel frequently and never even get a sniffle these days. Now, I take immunity boosters, feed my body nutritious foods that are specific to my needs, I exercise, and I incorporate a spiritual practice to stimulate my energy channels. Acupuncture, Reiki, yoga, adequate sleep, and a basic morning practice are all part of my health regimen. I include a daily reading in my morning practice as well as entries in my gratitude journal. My spiritual practice reminds me that I’m not in control of everything and there is a force much bigger helping, as long as I’m tuned in and paying attention to signs that are given to me. I live my life not from the victim perspective, but as if life is rigged in my favor.

While I was sick, I envisioned myself speaking and helping others, because I enjoy giving back. At my core I am a helper and a healer. Once I was healthy enough to work post-cancer, I started teaching and working with kids, and became very involved in the Leukemia and Lymphoma Society (LLS). Throughout my teaching career, I started the inaugural chapter of the National Elementary Honors Society, helped organize fundraisers, and trained other teachers in methods of collaboration. I strive to succeed and it gives me great joy to give back. However, six years after beating cancer, life still had a major lesson to teach me.

I was feeling good and training for the Nike Women’s Half Marathon as an honored hero for LLS. My husband was then transferred to Germany for his job and I went with him, but I continued to train while living in Munich—I wouldn’t even think of missing out on my team run in San Francisco. I traveled the nine time zones to run the exhilarating race and crossed the finish line with my childhood friend. A few weeks later back in Germany, arthritis set in a few of my joints and quickly immobilized me. Turns out I carry the gene HLA-B27 (a gene strongly associated with ankylosing spondylitis and other associated inflammatory diseases) and my travels and running as well as eating something that did not agree with me, triggered reactive arthritis. It would take months for doctors to learn what was causing my inflammation and in the meantime, I was told I would not walk again. I knew this could not be my fate; I knew there could be a better outcome. Through tears of frustration, I realized I still had more to learn.

I knew it was no accident that I was literally stuck on the couch unable to do anything but listen. So that is what I did: I took myself to my own life boot camp. I started listening to all the great spiritual teachers: Marianne Williamson, Wayne Dyer, Pema Chodron, and so many more. It took me about three years to fully recover. I had to completely change my diet, detox from all the radiation I had received, and most importantly, clean up any and all limiting beliefs that were hiding in the dark facets of my body. I never subscribed to the biological shots the doctors told me I would be on for the rest of my life. I never had one injection, instead, I submerged myself in learning about me and healing from the inside out. I can proudly say that five months ago, I completed my first triathlon, something that was on my bucket list before I ever got sick with cancer.

Today, I am passionate about sharing my personal journey and working with others to help them lead a healthy, inspirational life through my advisory business, EMPATH Coaching. Every experience and challenge I’v overcome has led me to a point where I am well positioned to help others forge their path. Starting my own business has brought up so many feeling of insecurity and fear, but because I have been through these other obstacles, I know how to move forward with an optimistic attitude while trusting life. I was born with a passion for health and I am ready to listen and receive the signs my life is giving me even if I don’t understand how it is all going to work out. I believe that my life literally brought me to my knees to really learn what it means to be healthy so I could give that knowledge to other people. Yes, I hear the voices in my head that tell me I am not good enough, or ask, “Why me?” But fear is not in the driver’s seat and I approach all things from love. Where love exists, fear cannot! I don’t get it right every day, but it’s a practice that I am dedicated to and passionate about. Through self-discovery, I ultimately hope to cause a ripple effect in health care that spreads positivity and uplifting people to be their best selves. There is no better gift to yourself than the gift of health and empowerment, and I believe everyone is personally capable of this.

Oddly enough, having cancer and reactive arthritis ultimately brought me to a happier, healthier place. It taught me to pay attention to the signs my life is giving me. Having a spiritual practice and trusting and believing there was something bigger and better, helped me then and will always be a part of my life. Even in my depression and confusion, I had a deep belief that there was something better for me and my survival was not an accident. This belief motivates me to continue living a healthy life and share my experiences with others so that they may get back to their right path, while building a life they love both mentally and physically.

Kimberly Lackey is a First Prize Winner in Sonima’s recent essay contest in which we asked readers to tell us, “What are you looking for?”