Share Pin Email
feature image
Live Free

Dear Rinpoche: How Do I Deal with a Mid-Life Crisis?

A Buddhist meditation master provides guidance on readers’ real-life problems. Here is his advice on finding meaning in middle age.

66
Author Image
Buddhist Master
SHARE:

Dear Rinpoche,

I am facing a mid-life crisis. I feel like I have nothing left in my life to do. I think I know why I feel this way, maybe because I feel alone and I wish I had someone to love and understand and care for, and vice versa. I cannot see what is in stake for my future, but I wish to remain calm and not worry about it. I would like to know a way to deal with this. Please help me.

Sincerely,
Uncertain

Dear Uncertain,

It is very nice to hear this question because I think many people come to have this feeling of loneliness. What I would like to say is that life needs purpose. This purpose needs to be unselfish. In order to be unselfish, we need to be calm.

Mid-life crises happen in part because we have no tools to be calm and clear. We have no tools to feel joyful and of service to others. Without these tools, we might watch our life move by and then have this sudden feeling that it is empty. This is when we develop the motivation to be of benefit to others, directly or indirectly, in manner and in thought and behavior. We need to know that we are helping others. This is an antidote to loneliness. This is healing.

During a mid-life crisis it can be useful to find a spiritual practice, or to find some type of meditation to get a fresh look into our experience. Among the great spiritual traditions of the world and especially our Buddha-dharma practice and the practice of the Enlightened ones, there is always the emphasis to continue our effort to generate loving-kindness and compassion toward all beings. Loving-kindness and compassion are crucial to my practice. This means continually wishing for the direct and indirect benefit of everyone.

I really feel that when we have the motivation to be of benefit, whether in a relationship, a family, or in some other situation, then we begin to fulfill different subtle needs of our minds and our emotions. Some people want to take up a spiritual life in times of crisis, and they should. But it is important to remember that the purpose of spiritual life should be the dawn of compassion and selflessness. We all continually have access to this compassionate aspect of mind. But to develop it we must first have a calm mind. Please persevere in calmness, loving-kindness, and compassion in this way.

As a last note, something that you might understand to be spiritual but that is actually harmful to yourself or others is actually dangerous. We need to always watch our minds and see how our spiritual practice affects our actions and the people around us. If we are healthy in mind, we are able to handle both our negative thoughts and our positive thoughts.

I really wish that you will find a nice companion, whatever companion you need. But you may not need a companion, and if you don’t need a companion, I wish you happiness in that way too.

With compassion,
Rinpoche

Do you need advice? Submit a question to Rinpoche here.

By

SHARE:

Comments (0)

An Expert Guide to Crow Pose

Download Sonima’s comprehensive guide to this exciting “reach” posture and enjoy the benefits of expert instruction at home!

Get the Guide

Load More

Find us on Instagram

@LIVESONIMA
  • All of the photos taken during the Stanford and Miami tour stops are now up on our Facebook Page. The NY photos will be coming soon! .
Keep your eyes 👀 peeled! 
Find our page by following the link in our bio. .

Remember to follow and like our FB Page and sign up to be the first to see our posts! .

You will find many beautiful photos captured by @ifilmyoga like this one of Paramaguru Sharath Jois @sharathjoisr and the ever-lovely Kino MacGregor @kinoyoga ♥️
.
.
.
.
@joisyogaencinitas @miamilifecenter @eddiestern @stanfordashtangayoga .
.
#sharathjoisusa2019
#sharathjois #guruji #ParamaguruSharathJois
#sharathtour2019 #ashtangayoga #ashtangapractice #joisyoga #joisyogaencinitas #brooklynyogaclub #ashtangayoganewyork #ashtanganyc #ashtangayogastanford #sonima #livesonima #miamilifecenter #miamiashtanga
#ashtangafamily #PrimarySeries #IntermediateSeries #practiceisprayer  #sharathjoisageless 
#ashtangafamily #alliscoming
  • Looking for 3 Ways to Hack Loneliness?

Read our latest article by Yael Shy @yaelshy1 and transform your relationship to loneliness and use these feelings to explore a deeper and richer connection to life.
💕
.
“Don’t surrender your loneliness so quickly. Let it cut more deep. Let it ferment and season you…” – Hafiz

Follow the link in our bio to find out more. .
.
.
.
#killingloneliness #loneliness #lonelinessthoughts✨ #lonelinessquotes #onehundreddaysofloneliness #lonelinesskills #yogilifestyle #yogafamily #yogalifestyle #yogaliving #positivenergy #positivelifestyle #positivemindpositivelife #mindfulliving #livewell #livefree #livefit #sonima #livesonima #healthylivingrevolution #healthierchoices  #balancedlife #createbalance #createhealthyhabits #brainhealth #mindbodyconnection #mindfullife #meditationchallenge
  • The portraits from NY are ready for you! 💓

Follow the link in our bio to connect to the Dropbox folder and find your own personal photo with Paramaguru Sharath Jois! .

A huge thank you to @ifilmyoga for the long hours of editing and uploading all the photos for us to share with you! 🙏🏽
.
.
.
.
@eddiestern @sharathjoisr 📸 @ifilmyoga .
.
#sharathjoisusa2019
#sharathjois #guruji #ParamaguruSharathJois
#sharathtour2019 #ashtangayoga #ashtangapractice #joisyoga #joisyogaencinitas #brooklynyogaclub #ashtangayoganewyork #ashtanganyc #ashtangayogastanford #sonima #livesonima #miamilifecenter #miamiashtanga
#ashtangafamily #PrimarySeries #IntermediateSeries #practiceisprayer  #sharathjoisageless 
#ashtangafamily #alliscoming
  • It’s the twinkle in his eye and the warmth radiating from his smile that keeps us coming back to practice day after day. 
His energy can carry us through even the most difficult practice.  We will miss these moments the most! .

We’ve had an incredible three weeks of sharing with you in the learning from Paramaguru Sharath Jois during this U.S. Tour. We are so grateful you joined us in this journey! .

The portraits from NY with be ready soon and you can find the link posted here in our bio. .
.
.
.
@joisyogaencinitas @miamilifecenter @eddiestern @sharathjoisr @stanfordashtangayoga Photo 📷 by @ifilmyoga 🙏 .
.
.
#sharathjoisusa2019
#sharathjois #guruji #ParamaguruSharathJois
#sharathtour2019 #ashtangayoga #ashtangapractice #joisyoga #joisyogaencinitas #brooklynyogaclub #ashtangayoganewyork #ashtanganyc #ashtangayogastanford #sonima #livesonima #miamilifecenter #miamiashtanga
#ashtangafamily #PrimarySeries #IntermediateSeries #practiceisprayer  #sharathjoisageless 
#ashtangafamily #alliscoming
  • “Sometimes the strength of motherhood is greater than natural laws.” - Barbara Kingsolver. .
Wishing all of the mother’s reading this a very happy Mother’s Day!
.
We are so grateful for all the work you do and the beautiful humans you help to shape! Thank you so much. 💓🙏🏽
.
.
.
.
#mothersday #gratefulheart #gratefulmindset Photo by Daria Shevtsova 📷 #positivenergy #positivelifestyle #positivemindpositivelife 
#mindfulliving #livewell #livefree #livefit #sonima #livesonima #healthylivingrevolution #healthierchoices  #gratitudechallenge #gratitudequotes #mothers_day #supergrateful #welovemom
  • Conference with Paramaguru Sharath Jois will be live-streamed on MONDAY May 13 following the Primary Series Class. .

Tomorrow’s Schedule: 
Primary 6am
Intermediate Series 8am (students are welcome to stay and observe) .
.

MONDAY May 13
Primary Series 6:30am 
Conference 8am-9am 
Photos to follow .

There is still room to register for the classes please message for details or see the link in our bio 💗
.
.
.
.
.
@joisyogaencinitas @miamilifecenter @eddiestern @sharathjoisr @stanfordashtangayoga Photo 📷 by @ifilmyoga 🙏 .
.
.
#sharathjoisusa2019
#sharathjois #guruji #ParamaguruSharathJois
#sharathtour2019 #ashtangayoga #ashtangapractice #joisyoga #joisyogaencinitas #brooklynyogaclub #ashtangayoganewyork #ashtanganyc #ashtangayogastanford #sonima #livesonima #miamilifecenter #miamiashtanga
#ashtangafamily #PrimarySeries #IntermediateSeries #practiceisprayer  #sharathjoisageless 
#ashtangafamily #alliscoming
Receive fresh content delivered to your inbox every week!